One scarcely can pick up a newspaper these days without hearing yet another outrageous legal claim being made in court. The following are actual recent legal filings as listed on TrialLawyersInc.com:

• Hookers v. Hollywood. A group claiming to represent prostitutes, drug abusers, and panhandlers wrote to several Hollywood film companies in August 2002 seeking cash compensation for depriving them of business opportunities and displacing them from neighborhoods during the filming of various movies.

• Like a Cigarette Shouldn't. A former Winston cigarette model filed a $65 million lawsuit against the cigarette maker for allegedly damaging his reputation. The model, who appeared in print and TV ads in the 1970s, claims he has suffered emotional pain as a result of the use of his image to influence others to smoke.

• Better Off Dead. A spate of "wrongful birth" lawsuits is being filed and, in several cases, won. Parents testify in court that they would have aborted their child had they been properly informed of genetic risks, accuse the doctors of malpractice, and demand expenses for the care of the child. A law firm in New Jersey claims it has won awards of $950,000 to $2 million for the plaintiffs in each of four such cases over the last two years.

• Most Valuable Lawsuit. Proving that litigation madness isn't limited to the U.S. alone, a father in New Brunswick, Canada, is suing an amateur hockey league for $300,000 after his son failed to win the league's Most Valuable Player award. The lawsuit seeks psychological and punitive damages, and it demands that the trophy be taken away from the player to whom it was awarded and given to his son.

• A Matter of Fax. Two class action lawsuits filed in California in August of 2002 are seeking $2.2 trillion in damages against alleged junk-fax distributor Fax.com and its business partners. The claim amounts to $1,500 for each unwanted piece of paper sent by Fax.com over a period of four years. Under general fee guidelines, if the plaintiffs are successful in winning the full amount, the lawsuit industry might collect as much as $700 billion-the value of the entire GDP of China.

• Monkey Business. A group of legal activists, including Harvard Law professor Laurence Tribe, is pressing to grant chimpanzees legal standing in court, similar to that of children. If the group has its way, a chimpanzee theoretically could win an injunction against a medical researcher or a roadside zoo.

Of course, many of the "wackiest" lawsuits are ultimately dismissed. But because the United States lacks any "loser pays" principle, lawsuits can be used as a harassment vehicle much more effectively than they could in system in which the losing party had to cover the winning party's expenses, precisely because a defendant may decide to settle a frivolous suit rather than incur the substantial expense of actually defending the case.

For regular updates on many outlandish legal claims, check overlawyered.com.