During the "Morning Edition" news block, the local NPR station here in Washington, WAMU, runs the feature, "The Writer's Almanac," a short segment of Garrison Keillor mentioning historical moments of the day. (For example, today is Margaret Thatcher's 84th birthday, and she once said, "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.") Then Keillor reads a poem. It's a nice little feature with almost none of the superciliousness you sometimes get from Keillor.
And the poem this morning was a delight, "Warnings" by David Allen Sullivan, who observes, "I collect warnings the way I used to collect philosophy quotes." An excerpt:
What would I have done without: Remove infant
before folding for storage, Do not use hair dryer
while sleeping, Eating pet rocks may lead to broken
teeth, Do not use deodorant intimately?
Goodbye to all those sentences that sought
to puncture the illusory world-like the warning
on the polyester Halloween outfit for my son:
Batman costume will not enable you to fly.
From Sullivan's Strong-Armed Angels.
Walter has also written about excessive warning labels, but he prefers prose. See this Overlawyered post.